"Never Before"

Never have I been fond of spirals and loop-de-loops,

But my heart seems to have developed a liking for them.

Never before has it had me in such a whirl of chaos,

Making me question my whole outlook on life.

Constantly I wonder, and wonder, and wonder, and wonder,

Only one question, ultimately, seems to be on my mind.

I ask myself repeatedly, "Do I dare? Do I dare? Do I dare?"

Always is my answer one of confusion and uncertainty.

For long, I took to decrypting the signals sent to my mind,

From my heart they originated, that confounded muscle!

Of my feelings, I am now completely certain, leaving no doubt,

However, her feelings…they evade my knowledge so.

And so, I seek refuge in the written word, as poets passed,

My words do not confuse me. My words do not question me.

They convey me, convey my thoughts and emotions to the world,

All in the desperate attempt to express my inexpressible self.

If I could, I would. Oh, how I would, if I could,

Express myself to her, lifting these clouds of mystery.

My nature confines me, sadly, to my words and poems,

Through them alone may I cryptically release my tale.

Though with several before have I connected,

But in so few have I seen a possibility.

The odds are stacked, as often they are, against my favor,

Solely because I lack the experience and courage.

Shall I be confined to admire from afar forever?

Or shall I find a way to make it known, to muster the courage?

They say time is miraculous, healing all wounds eventually,

Unfortunately, it is limiting for me, dwindling with every word.

All I can do now is hope that my words shall influence her,

But, sadly, never before have my words caused the needed stir.